You can win: Tell me types of both cupcakes, where on earth they came from or your winning story about sick person on your outbound airplane to something important:
Free copy of my new book, autographed and a free link to anything you heart desires. http://carolinegerardo.com/Things I learned about my first day on the writing tour in no special order:
• A guy on the plane near you is going to be coughing and orange as an overripe persimmon 103 temperature ( and smell just as astringent rotting).
• You will have the scratchy throat day two and cough from the guts of Auschwitz on the day you have to give your first speaking engagement.
• No worries they either like your first two sentences, or they tune you out. and move crumpling wrappers from Chic A Fil near the microphone.
• Don’t be too funny or a lump on the log. Turn on the a light up your spine and remember the joy of writing at home dreaming you are connecting with this abstract idea of 'writing audience'.
• Other writers suffer most the same delusions, worries and joys even if you don’t agree with their work – don’t add input because it seems no one wants to hear what Lucy Ricardo thinks,
(me being Lucille Ball)
Be smiling, be informative, have some extra free paper junk to give people – I have no idea why people want something free, because --- HAS MOST ANYTHING you ever were granted FREE seemed worthwhile? Well except: the love from your family, & Santa and God who listen to my prayers 'sometimes'. They say never give away a stray kitten for free, charge ten dollars then they (They who are they?) will value the pet?
“Never mind” as Rose Ann Roseanna Danna would say, “give them some crap.” God hold Gilda in your hands, for understanding that making us laugh gets us through the trials (- I can tell you about the tests). You: author, novelist, e-book writer, poet, story teller, publisher, or short story expert- What are you offering? The moment in our time and our lives that we believe has some record to share. They want more.
What I learned this weekend: Authors are too shy to ask a great artist that they already know to help them with their cover. We need to match up. Match.com for artist/photographer/ computer wizard/ salepersonship (not a typo).
No, no wait… I just watched the Social Network at four in the morning when I could not sleep. Please produce my fifty million dollar idea given to you for FREE: link up with a great photographer. a college computer guru SEO and website prophet and maybe your Mom to be the lead of the marketing team.
O.K. tomorrow post that I have gone out there, and you are mad that I didn’t buy your book.
When /I am not hacking hurting with a fever I will post all the Flannery O'Conner posts.