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Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Squirrel War


Shared first tomato from the ranch today.
Piggish to slice it into a salad.
Co-workers enjoy the peppery
heavenly joy of organic produce.
I did not work this hard to feed ingrates.

Included here are pretty photographs but the remains of this
post chronicles my war on squirrels who killed my baby chickens. If you're squeamish, or you love fuzzy tails, or
want the second amendment appealed, don't read. This is war on a nasty pest.
Almost eighty days in my new home
Compost piles cook, 17 tons of oak mulch disappears as I wheelbarrow it in place,
hugelkultur shrinks peppers climb on top.
Invested weeks of physical labor.
Don't mind the birds stealing half
the seeds I plant but these are murderous
critters that kill for sport (they don't eat the
chickens just bite them multiple punctures.)

What God created grey ground squirrels?
I'm losing a war with rodents.
I'm not in Aleppo without food or water;
but it's harder than planned.


I purchased these "solutions":
Haveaheart- zero results
what was I going to do with live angry pests?
After reading the instructions about drowning
them I gave the trap to my neighbor (3 miles down
the gravel road). He smiled about the battle.

Squirrelinator -the  male with striped panels
is able to open the door for his friends so they
can enter, enjoy a snack, relax in the shade, and exit.

Rat traps- 3 versions X 9 = no catches but one
empty jar of Skippy peanut butter

Wildlife Control Tube trap-
have reset the trigger nine times, last
time I didn't refill with peanuts as I think I
am feeding the offspring. Zero catches.

Airsoft gun, a Winchester one
I am able to hit a marshmallow on top of a can
at 90 yards BUT the creatures see the gun.
For hours I sat with a camo scarf over my head.
A cardboard wall in front hides my body.
Dark sweet Slemit cherries and peanuts wait in the
meadow.  Dam squirrels see me.

I upgraded my rifle to a better 12 gauge with
bird shot. Neighbor ranchers chuckle when I
hike up the mountain with the gun slung
on my back.
After practicing and becoming expert, I'm ready.
Buggers hide from the sound when I open the locked case.

The squirrels seem to rise at 11:00 AM then saunter home.
Rats with mink tails now work on more nests and get into
my attic.  They are asleep at 5:00 P.M.. It's a leisurely life.
There are plenty of tomatoes, okra, eggplant and squash
to gobble up and bury for later.
This morning I leave the ranch early for the office.
There one the hood of my car. A fat bushy tailed girl
stands upright eating a ripe tomato. I swear she flipped me off.

Don't suggest poison. Everyone says they are too smart, and
it will be the Great Pyrenees dogs that eat vile second hand.

How do I encourage Coopers Hawks and Red Tailed Hawks
to visit and stay?


See vase squirrels broke

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