Thursday, May 26, 2016

Honey is Gone

Moved, down sized, changed compass.

National Forest, mountains, ranches are home.

Goodbye nightly aroma of beach fires- 
pallets burning... 
Flecks touch the surf.

Visit ocean.
It's ours.

Last night a friend left.
Loss of a family member, though
you saw her as a pet.
Goodbye tides.
Farewell cosmos.
Fifteen years of love.
Nanny to my children.
Checked safety, fixed covers,
never hated or distrusted;
but she stole underpants.
We laughed with her.
Snort at Honey jokes.

Her spirit soars.  
Swim the sea.
She's not gone.

Miss dust bunny fluffer-
nutter hair in corners.
Sounds of her toenails on
the kitchen floor, no more. 
Vacuum nose sniffing
specs of dinner gone astray,
now silent.

Golden Retrievers are from Heaven
Honey is up there, running.
When you see Honey she is kind.
A dog with truest form of love.

I wish 
I gave more treats,
paw rubs, kisses and
told her more often: 
"You are the best. 
You are beautiful.
You are my sweet."
more and more...

Sun sets,
slips behind landscape.
A gold color of Honey. 
Her tail flows in the clouds.

You are ocean.
Not a dog.
You are sea.
Swim in the kelp like when
you were young. 
Ride waves with surfers and Carson.
Dive for balls.
We love you too.
See you in Heaven mermaid pup.

Caroline Gerardo copyright May 26, 2016

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Clouds Do Not Deliver

Morning drive to post office. I now live on a dirt road. Third visit to set up rural mail. No box at the ranch. Above is second gates into my new home.

One post lady doles out boxes. She was in today but needs to verify I can't get mail. Neighbor "Duke" says, "it's free because the U. S.  Postal Service won't drive our road."

Mail lady, "I'll check with supervisor."

Her counterpart suggests I contact the US Postmaster General for service.
Dear Megan Brennan: Glad you reduced price of stamps, please send rain.

 Left in limbo, waiting for refund checks.  Search begins for commercial post box near my office instead or relay mail from Wyoming via Pony Express.

Waiting for plumber to show between 10 and 12, scrolling the internet sitting in my car - have service at the Highway. Because there are several gates I have to sit in my car 5 miles from house for any service call. Satellite cable install window was 8:00 AM- 3:00 PM.  They showed up on second appointment of all day wait. Honey sat in car with me for company. Under old growth oaks we watch trucks speed by on the highway.

Daily the sky threatens to give a down pour but only delivers a dribble on dusty windshield. A drop blends the pine sap on the outside of the windshield. The spots don't change the corduroy lines in the dirt road behind me dredged by the Road Maintenance Gentleman.

Other projects ahead- trying to sell and trade cars for suitable four wheel drive. Bought a Subaru and looking for a Jeep Wrangler two door. Jeep Wranglers are popular.  They demand crazy prices and few are available. Car dealer acted like I'm asking to buy a Rare Barna fresco. When I said this he became angry.
"Okay so you aren't my car guy. You've never been to Pinacoteca Nazioinale."

I love those muted peach, gold, and
dusty tones mirrored in the hillsides
where I live
Barna of Siena around 1550

Next issue on yellow paper list...
Many to tackle on the road ahead.
Living off grid on a ranch joys.

Caroline Gerardo copyright May 25, 2016

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Joy Arises

Joy Arises

Recite rosary daily.
Sleep is not with me.
Opened memory boxes hidden in the garage.
Attempted to lighten my load of belongings.
I photographed their muddy artworks,
throwing out the dog eared originals. As I lingered
over my children's photos - pictures of ponies and
streamers in gold green and auburn revealing
- colors of time.
Boxes worn.
I cut down to two tattered boxes.

Piles of trophies, sports jerseys and awards
posed for pictures. Filed them in icloud and
Google photo in case I lose sight of the images.
Thirty Yearbooks now in storage for
my kids homes of their own. When I peeked,
I couldn't recall the names signed with faces.
"Hey buddy you are great!!!" Love,Tanya.

High School reunion is marked on my calendar.
Hope to make it to my first one this year in July.
Will I match peoples names with their images?

A boy promised take me to prom then never showed up.
I know his name, not saying it, never hold in
your mind an unpleasant event.
Let it fly and begin again.

Happiness isn't dusty boxes or antique silver.

Letting go half the things I filled in my house.
A big gesture to
mark this change.
Downsize to a simple path.
Not juggling two jobs, writing at dawn, fighting
with tenants to do what's right.

A joy gift to mark my new life.
I placed an advertisement on #Freecycle with pictures of
my family room furniture. Freecycle is a website where
members post their requests or offer free items.
It Read:
All this for you. A single mom deserves these.
Borrow a truck or two and strong helpers.
Be prepared to accept everything.
Don't text me. Call to make arrangements.
Many texted, emailed and few called.
Each with their requirements.
"I can come next week, but I only want the
antique table." - I didn't answer.
"Will you deliver to me?" Nope.
"Is that a real Tufft table?" Yep.
The right call arrived. I gave them
my address. She asks, "what do you want in
"For you to be joyful."
They arrive with two funky trucks.
Grandmother's chairs, dining table, ikea
sofa with two new covers, mid century modern
coffee table, Tufft table not in great condition,
Regency writing desk, and linens flow from
my house to their vehicles.
The daughter jumps up and down.
Their excitement makes me giggle.

I am lighter. Ready for my new life.

“It is in the nature of things that joy 
arises in a person free from remorse.”
The Buddha (Cetana Sutta, Anguttara Nikaya)

Caroline Gerardo copyright c   May 3, 2016